iLove you Not
by ThatsWhatISaid129
Summary: When Shannon will not leave Freddie alone he has only one option. Thankfully ,for us, that option includes blonde hair and an over all demon. SamxFreddie3
1. i'AM your what?

**Disclaimer: The Worst part of this story is that I don't Own ICARLY!**

iLove You Not

Fredward Benson was having the one of the worst days ever. First his alarm clock forgot to wake him so instead of an annoying beeping sound coming from his side table, he got a screaming outside his bedroom door with one of her weird rhymes. Freddie jumped out of bed and quickly got ready for school, through his backpack on his shoulder, and ran out his apartment, ignoring his mothers other rhymes about growing boys and the fact that his stomach was yearning for food.

He ran to the elevator and pushed the down button and waiter for two minutes, but to him felt like 30 minutes. When the doors finally opened, he had to deal with the next problem. The Elderly. He stepped in the already crowded elevator and waited quietly for the doors to close. He closed his eyes and hoped nobody else would get on, but come on, when has anything good ever happened for the tech nerd. The doors opened on the 1st floor and more elderly people stood on the other side of the door.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but as you can see there jut isn't enough room for- OW!" Freddie shouted as one of the old ladies punched him.

"Oh shut up, Brenda!" The old lady hollered at him.

"I'm a guy!" Freddie yelled back.

"I STILL have ANGINA!" Another old man Freddie recognized yelled.

"SHUT UP BERT!" The same old lady told, um, Bert.

"okay..."

Finally the doors of the elevator closed and so did Freddie's eyes. Through out the rest of the ride the old lady, Marge, kept yelling at people and tried constantly to start a fight with Freddie, but Freddie refused. He knew he couldn't fight with an old lady no matter how rude the rotten woman was being.

When the elevator doors opened once more he had to wait for some of the elderly to leave before he could go but ended up staying longer because of the injuries they had done to him with there evil canes and demented wheelchairs! Once he was able to get out Freddie had forever made up his mind: He is Never riding an elevator with Old People ever again!

Freddie ran out of Bushwell plaza while Lewbert was fighting with Marge about how he was NOT her son and she needs to start taking her medication.

When Freddie was half way to school, the best thing happened, it started to rain. Freddie looked at his watch to find that the school doors close in 2 minutes and he was about 5 minutes away. Freddie didn't want to waste anymore time so he ran. It was going fine until, well, he slipped in a puddle and was drenched head to toe.

He carefully got up from the sidewalk and looked at his scratched up hands then his watch. He still had enough time so he picked up his back pack and walked the rest of the way, it wasn't even that far away maybe a block.

When he finally pushed through the double doors of the school doors he was greeted by a not-so- happy Briggs," Good Morning, Miss. Briggs."

"Good Morning my butt! Get to class before your late, Fredward Benson! Why are you all wet!" The red haired teacher screamed at him through her bullhorn. Now if the old people and the rain didn't wake him up enough, the bullhorn defiantly did.

"Um, I slipped in a puddle," Freddie said hoping she would just leave him alone.

"Well in that case, GET TO CLASS!" Briggs shouted into her bullhorn.

"LOUD!" Freddie said making a beeline to his first class. He got inside the classroom right when the bell rang.

"Mr. Benson could you take a seat, I don't know, NOW!" Mr. Howard yelled.

"Sure," He said throwing his backpack on t

he floor next to his desk and sat.

For the rest of the morning Freddie had to drag him and his soaking cloths until he was able to see Carly during lunch. So when that bell signaling class was over he practically jumped out of his seat.

Freddie sped walked through the halls until he was stopped by a high bubbly voice," Hi Freddie."

Freddie inwardly groaned and turned around toward Shannon," Hey Shannon."

"So what's up," Shannon said popping the p.

Freddie wanted to tell this obsessive girl to go away, but Freddie is to nice to ever do that, unless it was Sam. See for some reason Sam just rips away at Freddie's goodie two shoe walls. She loves seeing him act out and he loves acting out, but he can only do it with her. No one else seems to bring out that side of him.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a certain Brunette," Uh, i have to go Shannon I'll see you around." Freddie said walking away before she could say another word.

"Hey Freddie," Carly said as she set some books in her locker.

"Hey," He greeted back.

"Bad day?" Carly asked, her back still turned toward him. She didn't wait for his reply as she reached in her locker and gave him a change of dry cloths.

Why does Carly keep an extra pair of clothing for Freddie? Lets just say this wasn't the only bad day our little tech nerd has had to endure.

"Thanks Carly," Freddie said turning around and walking towards the men's room. He quickly got changed and disposed of his wet cloths in a plastic Mall-Mart bag.

Freddie stepped out of the bathroom and made his way back to Carly locker, but instead of Carly there was his favorite blond headed demon cooking eggs in her locker with a spoon.

Freddie chuckled he could always count on Sam to make him laugh on his I-just-want-to-die days.

"Yo Puckett."

"What do you want Benson?" Sam said scooping up her over easy eggs and putting them on her ham sandwich.

"Just making conversation," Freddie replied leaning against Carly's locker. "Anything new?"

Sam opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by a high bubbly voice," I know your busy and all but Freddie do you think you would go out with me?"Even though Shannon has made it clear that she loves Freddie she had never had the courage to ask him out. All she needed was some pep talk with her friends and she finally had the courage to ask him.

Sam starting laughing while Freddie kind of went pale, Shannon can feel her confidence being wrung out of her and she started to turn a bright shade of red. After what seemed like forever Freddie said in a gentle voice," Shannon I'd love to go out with you," Shannon's face lit up," But I'm dating someone else." Her smile dropped and she wanted to scream.

"And who is she?" She said rather bitterly.

The confidence Freddie was building was starting to break down, but wait Freddie had an idea. It was probably the most stupidest most dangerous most self destroying plan but he had to at least try it.

Freddie practically signed his death warrant the moment he said that one name, "Sam!"

Shannon's face was a rainbow of red, she couldn't believe what she was hearing! Sam and Freddie! They hate each other! Suddenly she automatically calmed down, "Don't worry I read in LionBop that Best Friend Bf/Gf relationships won't last a whole two in two months you will be my date to the Halloween Dance." With that Shannon dusted imaginary dust off her thigh high skirt and walked away leaving a relieved but terrified Freddie.

"So, I'm your girlfriend now?" Sam asked angrily. Don't get her wrong she's had a crush on the nub for the longest time, but being his 'fake girlfriend' so he could get a girl off of his back makes her angry. Like he only notices her when he needs something.

"Sam, just please play along," The nerd begged.

"No."

"Come on, Sam." Freddie pleaded.

"No."

"If you say yes I'll buy you Bolivian bacon and any other kind of food you want," Freddie compromised.

"Dude. No. N-O. No!"

"Sam!"

"Freddie!"

Freddie looked so defeated and some how cute to her. The way his eyebrows scrunch up and his bottom lip involuntarily sticking out.

Sam thought."Fine. I'll be your girlfriend if you become my personal driving monkey, the stuff you aid before, oh and I get to call you whatever I please."

Freddie felt like he could breathe again. He could possibly be done with Shannon forever," Thank you, Sam!"

"Ah ah ah! One more condition," Freddie didn't care he was fantasizing what life would be with out Shannon," Get on your knee and ask me to be your girlfriend."

"Wait, What?" Freddie said shaking out of his carefree world.

"One knee."

"Okay," Freddie said slowly getting down on his knee.

"Now ask me to be you girlfriend."

"Here?"

"Yes here you noob."

"Um okay," Freddie's mouth turned dry as he tried to pit the words out of his mouth and unfortunately for him everybody was starting to leave lunch and started gravitating to the scene."Would you, Sam, be my girlfriend?"

Some people in the crowd, mostly girls (obviously), said awe.

Sam looked around the crowd and looked down at Freddie, " Awe, Freddie. No."

Sam picked up her backpack through it on her shoulder, slamed her locker and walked away from a bunch of laughing kids, amused kids, sympathetic kids, and a very red Fredward Benson

**Okay this is the first chapter of my new story iLove you not. Please review because the more you care, the more people love you. Wait, no, thats just me:))))**


	2. iPlan a date

**Disclaimer: Roses are red, violet are blue, I don't own iCarly:/**

**Freddie's PoV**

Freddie sat in his nerd club after school feeling miserable. First, he still has to answer to Shannon because talk has been going on in school that Sam rejected him. Then, because Sam has rejected him, many more annoying girls with high voices are asking him out (Not really a bad thing but hold on). Then there is the fact that he actually did kind of, maybe, sort of, probably, liked Sam...in a way of course! Freddie didn't really chose Sam because she was there, he chose her cause he wanted to.

"So David, what are you doing tonight?" A geeky kid asked.

"Oh you know going on World of Warlords and going to pwn some noobs," David said with a mouth full of braces and spit.

"Like you did last night?" A boy with a evil smirk but a odd dress attire said smugly.

"Shut up, Aaron." David said throwing his head into his calculus homework.

Freddie listen to the three boys talk about 'noobs' as he was trying to adjust the camera. He was just about done until a chick came up to him. He wasn't going to lie, she was cute. She had choppy brown hair with stormy gray eyes. She looked lost.

Um, hi, I'm, uh, Emily, but, uh, you can call me Emmy," she held out her hand, Freddie took it a shook it," I'm new here from Nebraska."

Freddie smiled to make the girl feel a little more welcomed, "Hey, I'm Freddie."

"Freddie? As in Freddie Benson? The guy off of iCarly?" Emmy asked?

"Yep that's me." Freddie said giving up on his camera.

"Yah, I heard that you, uh, got rejected by that girl, um, Sam Puckett. She seems so cool to hang around!" Emmy just went on and on. and talked for the rest of the meeting, which was a total bust because the teacher in charge of the club never showed up.

"Here, this is my number," She said writing bunch of random numbers in her notebook," text me whenever. Oh and if you have any problems with Sam maybe I can help you understand the girl mind a little better."

The techy smiled at her," Thanks, I will."

She smiled back and left the classroom, while Freddie was gathering all his school supplies and what not. He through his backpack on his shoulder and dreaded what would happen next with his blond headed demon.

Sam's PoV

Sam sat on The Shay's couch, popcorn in one hand, ham in the other, and a glob of fat cake in her mouth. She sat with her dirty converse resting on the table and her buttery hand on the tv remote.

"Sam I found you missing, now moldy, steak head," Carly Shay said running down the stairs, one hand in a plastic mal-mart bag to protect it from the evil germs that were roaming around the meat.

On normal days Sam would have been excited to see her Steak Head. She won it at the fair last year. But, since it is not a normal day, Sam waved Carly away and told her to throw it away.

Carly shrugged her shoulders. "You know we don't have to throw it away. We could use it on iCarly."

"Like how?" Sam said shoveling a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

"I don't know. Oh, remember how you and Freddie would bring Nevel over to do a segment on iCarly and every time Gibby would throw a meatloaf at him! Why don't you guys do it with this moldy steak!" Carly said, accidently dropping the meat. It splashed on the ground.

Sam wrinkled her nose at the name of the tech nerd, " Ew, Carls that meat is disgusting! Its perfect."

Carly laughed and picked up the meat. She threw it in the sink and sat down next to Sam at the couch. " So... anything new happen today?"

Immediately Sam knew what Carly was getting on. Sam kept her face expressionless, play dumb. "Whatcha talking 'bout, Carls?"

" I don't know. Never mind." Carly said eyeing the blond-headed demon suspiciously, like she knew something Sam didn't. Sam hated that look.

"Whatever," Sam said taking out a banana.

Carly looked at her dumbfounded," Where did you come up with a banana?"

Smile smirked," Mama's magical." She took off the peel and through it at behind her towards the front door.

"Well 'Mama's' magical butt better go pick up that banana peel." Carly said taking the buttery remote from her friend. She grimaced at the slimy texture of the plastic and took out her hidden stash of wet wipes." Anyway. Do you know what's up with Freddie today?"

" I don't know. Why don't you ask the dork himself?" Shoving the ham into her mouth.

"Knock Knock," the girls heard from the hallway. Sam rolled her eyes.

"No one's home." She yelled at the opening door. Freddie strolled in casual and smoothly slipped on the banana peel.

"Oh my God Freddie are you alright?" Carly asked trying desperately not to laugh.

" A banana peel? Seriously Sam?" Freddie half screamed. Sam couldn't help but noticed how cute he was when he got flustered.

"Don't blame me. The banana peel did it buddy," Sam said taking the popcorn and the ham and putting them on the table.

"Guys please don't- *buzzzzz*" Carly looked down at her phone and screamed," Oh MY GOD! Sam do you know Matthew Moore!"

" Hot senior, good body, nice tan, cute hair cut, and your perfect match? What about him?"

"He just asked me out! Ah! Can you believe it! You two need to leave!" Carly said pushing Sam and Freddie toward the door.

"What?"

"He's going to be here in an hour! I need to clean up and get ready! KK I love you bye!" She said with one final push out the door and a quick door slam in the face.

"So...nice weather we're having," Sam said risking a look at the tech-nerd.

Freddie wasn't buying the her stall," Sam what happened at school?"

"Whatcha talking about, Fredwad?" Sam said now looking everywhere but the geek.

"Don't play dumb, Sam," Freddie was getting irritated, and guess what? Sam thought that was cute to! Why does this nerd have to have the cutest faces! It isn't fair!

" What? I'm still going to be your 'girlfriend'" Sam said putting up quotation marks around on the girlfriend part.

"What!"

"Yup so when's our 'first date'?"

"Will you stop with the fingers. I don't know."

" Well the fair is coming up. Is Shannon going with her friends?"

"Yah, she was telling my back all about it."

"Well then there you go. Fredward Benson we are going to the Fair." Sam beamed at him. She loved fairs. Lots of games, hobos, and carnival food!

Yup this is going to be the best first date ever!

**A/N: So as you can see, I took forever to post this and I'm sorry. School is always on my neck and as much as I would love to say screw school, I need to keep my grades up. Anyway. How yall doing? Do you like the story? Is it good? Bad? I won't know if you don't review! **


	3. iText

**Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a frog who loved to was named Hop. One day Hop was hopping around a hobo and the hobo took hop and had him for dinner. The moral of this story is: I don't own iCarly (apparently neither did HOP:/)**

When Freddie closed his bedroom door he immediately pulled out his phone and the number he had received earlier that day. He added it to his contacts and wrote a message and pushed send.

_Freddie:_

_Hey Emmy its Freddie_

He put his volume on his phone on high and through it on his bed. Then ran to the other side of the room to get his laptop. By the time he reached his bed his phone started singing, "Bitches I hope you know. I won't stop till I hit that-" Freddie quickly turned off the ringer. One thought filled his head.

Sam.

_Emmy:_

_Hey Freddie did u talk to Sam?_

_Freddie:_

_Yah, she said that she was going to be my girlfriend. We r going to the fair. Any advice?_

_Emmy:_

_Wait I thought you 2 were fake dating?_

_Freddie:_

_We r. Shannon is going 2 b there._

_Emmy:_

_Good._

_Freddie:_

_Any advice? im kinda nerves._

_Emmy:_

_Um... just be urself. How come ur nerves? Do u LIKE Sam?_

_Freddie:_

_Of course i like her. She's my best friend._

_Emmy:_

_u no what i mean! Do u like like her?_

Freddie paused. Could he trust her. Of course not! He doesn't know her well enough. But he had to get it off his chest! He couldn't tell Carly. Carly would freak out and try to get them together! He did not need that. After a few minutes of debate he finally typed:

_Freddie:_

_Kinda.i guess._

_Emmy:_

_Why dont u tell her how you realli feel?_

_Freddie:_

_Emmy, she is my best friend. i don't wanna ruin our whole friendship because of these cursed teenage hormones._

_Emmy:_

_Cursed? really Freddie?:)_

_Freddie:_

_Well yah... i know i'm dorky._

_Emmy:_

_its okay to be different Freddie its actually adorable in a dorky way. i got it! its Adorkable!_

_Freddie:_

_haha thats so funny:/_

_Emmy:_

_Ah u no im kinddin with yah:D_

_Freddie:_

_I guess:)_

_Emmy:_

_Well hey if anything goes wrong on ur date. if u ever need something to say. Text me. i'll help u._

_Freddie:_

_I will. nite._

Freddie got up from his bed and hooked up his phone. Sam and him decided that they were going tomorrow at 6. Freddie reminded Sam to look presentable. He liked her, but he didn't want her to look like she just rolled out of bed! Freddie closed his eyes and dreamt up all the possible ways their date could go wrong.

***********It's a Purple flying Monkey*********************

Sam was not in the mood to go to school. She got up slowly and through on some cloths, not caring if they matched, and walked out of her house. Who cares if her hair was wild and crazy. She didn't and that was good enough for her.

She walked into the school with her bag dragging on the floor when she was suddenly knocked over by a girl. She had a tiny frame and had medium kind of brown hair.

"Oh God I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Her gray eyes were so startling.

"Naw, it's okay. As long as you didn't mean it." Usually Sam didn't let girls have warnings like she gave this girl but this girl was different.

"I didn't I swear. Hey, are you Sam Puckett?" The girl ask moving a piece of hair out of her eyes.

"The one in only," The blue eyed girl said enthusiastically.

"Wow. I just moved here from Nebraska and I watch every new iCarly's, well unless something comes up," *BRINGGGGG* " That's the bell. Here's my number. Text me."

Sam stared at her walking form. She shrugged her shoulders and walked to her first class and made it by a half-second. Sam completely forgot about her date with her dork.

She remembered suddenly when she got a text from Freddie during Chemistry. She almost turned her lab partner into a woman after she read the text. Poor Henry passed out and the lucky frog got to live until next period. Boys. They are such wimps.

After school that day she was going to hang out with Carly until she heard a fake conversation between Carly and the nub in her head.

"Carly, the only reason we are going out is so I can get Shannon off my back!"

"Yah, keep telling those lies to someone who is going to listen to 'em," Carly said with a smirk.

" Carly! I'm being serious! I need you to talk to Sam, I know she going to dress up in sweatpants and a hoody just to make us look bad!" Freddie practically screamed.

"So? Let her be herself," Carly said rolling her eyes at Freddie's protests.

"Carly I need someone who will actually pretend that she likes me and looks decent out in public!"

Sam stopped the imaginary conversation. She was going to make herself cry. And you know a Puckett doesn't cry. Even though the part of her that was insecure made up the conversation, what if Freddie really did want someone who was actually pretty. Who was 'decent' in public? Fine. She can do that.

Sam went home straight after school and took a shower. She laid out her make up and an old outfit she bought at the mall with Carly two weeks ago. She was determined to look great tonight.

***********It's a Purple flying Monkey*********************

Freddie walked up the Puckett's driveway filled with various amounts of meat packages. He made his way to the surprisingly beautiful wooden door that had a sign that said: Surrender the Meat and the Hobo Lives. Classy.

Before Freddie could even knock the door swung open to reveal a totally different girl Fredward could not recognize.

Sam's hair was extra curly, but with the help of some pins, stayed back into an elegant hairstyle. She wasn't wearing much makeup, just a thick layer of kohl eyeliner and mascara that made her eyes pop, and a bit of lip gloss.

"Ready to go Frednub?" She said closing the door behind her.

Freddie had to admit, at first he was kind of worried that Sam was going to in her pajama pants and a jacket, but he really never doubted Sam. I guess that's how you feel when your in love right? Freddie shook the thought out of his head when his blond headed princess called for him to 'hurry his nerdy butt up'.

Maybe this date wasn't going to be too bad.

**A/N: LOOK AT ME I'M ON A ROLL! Whoa! I know this seems kind of dry and Im srry bout that. Other than that I hope you are enjoying the story! Don't be a jerk, Review! Question! Di you know the name of the song that is Freddie's ringtone? I'll give you a guess: I HATE the band and the song:/**


End file.
